Don’t Forget Older Siblings When Caring for an Infant
A new baby is a handful and can be overwhelming even for seasoned parents. You may feel ‘you know it all’ if you have a child or two under your belt, but the work multiplies exponentially when there are more children in the mix. Sleep deprivation, recovering from a c-section or post partum depression can exacerbate the woes and parents often find themselves struggling with how to care for all the children.
Older siblings, regardless of how many years older they actually are, are automatically transferred in to the big brother or big sister role as soon as the baby arrives. A two year old sibling can be neglected when caring for an infant as she has to assume the big sister role. The truth is that the baby doesn’t care who holds him, changes him or bathes him, but the older sibling observes the infant care with great detail and feels she has taken a back seat.
Tantrums, regression in toilet training, biting, writing on the wall etc are just some examples of how an older sibling reacts when an infant is cared for. Often times they don’t know how to express their jealousy and in order to attract the parents’ attention, they resort to undesirable behavior.
Prepare in Advance
By reading books and talking to your kids about a new sibling, prepare them well in advance that the family dynamic is going to change. Reassure them with words and actions that you will still love them just as much, even if you have to attend to the baby periodically.
Assign duties to the older siblings as you care for your infant so that they feel involved in the process rather than left out. A toddler can get diapers and wipes for you and will revel in the diaper buddy title. An older child can help folding laundry or setting the table while you nurse the baby. Get small gifts and surprises for them in advance so when guests bring things for the baby. You have some little gifts for them too.
Accept Help
Don’t expect to be super mom. Take your friends, neighbors and family members up when they offer to help. Focus on the older siblings while the infant is cared for by someone else. A grandma can easily bathe the infant while you read aloud to your older children. A friend can watch the baby for a while as you take your kids for some ice cream. Even if the one-on-one moments are few and far between, cherish them as one day you’ll need them more than hey need you.
Older siblings, regardless of how many years older they actually are, are automatically transferred in to the big brother or big sister role as soon as the baby arrives. A two year old sibling can be neglected when caring for an infant as she has to assume the big sister role. The truth is that the baby doesn’t care who holds him, changes him or bathes him, but the older sibling observes the infant care with great detail and feels she has taken a back seat.
Tantrums, regression in toilet training, biting, writing on the wall etc are just some examples of how an older sibling reacts when an infant is cared for. Often times they don’t know how to express their jealousy and in order to attract the parents’ attention, they resort to undesirable behavior.
Prepare in Advance
By reading books and talking to your kids about a new sibling, prepare them well in advance that the family dynamic is going to change. Reassure them with words and actions that you will still love them just as much, even if you have to attend to the baby periodically.
Assign duties to the older siblings as you care for your infant so that they feel involved in the process rather than left out. A toddler can get diapers and wipes for you and will revel in the diaper buddy title. An older child can help folding laundry or setting the table while you nurse the baby. Get small gifts and surprises for them in advance so when guests bring things for the baby. You have some little gifts for them too.
Accept Help
Don’t expect to be super mom. Take your friends, neighbors and family members up when they offer to help. Focus on the older siblings while the infant is cared for by someone else. A grandma can easily bathe the infant while you read aloud to your older children. A friend can watch the baby for a while as you take your kids for some ice cream. Even if the one-on-one moments are few and far between, cherish them as one day you’ll need them more than hey need you.
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